jetpack_monkey_ljarchive

Captain Kronos can kill three men in the span of a breath.
Captain Kronos can survive the deadly bite of a vampire.
Captain Kronos is down with the G-O-D.
Captain Kronos smokes pot and doesn't get the munchies.
Captain Kronos will take your sister out for dinner, a movie, and fantastic sex, and still have her home before curfew.
Captain Kronos uses somebody else's voice to speak because his larynx is too cool to be bothered.
Captain Kronos fights with both a foil and a samurai sword... BECAUSE HE CAN!
Captain Kronos invented Google.
Captain Kronos killed his best friend with an unsharpened crucifix.
Captain Kronos will make a delicious honey-glazed ham and share it with the orphans of small Bavarian villages.
Captain Kronos can control aquatic life... with his MIND!
Captain Kronos is better than you.

That is all.